Jelly Belly

To: helpdesk@jellybelly-uk.com

Subject: My Belly and your Jelly.

Dear Mr J. Belly,

I believe that your product is a taste sensation. I really do. In fact, for those of us on a low income, your product is a portal to the aristocracy. Surely only celebrities can afford to dine on such delights as "crushed pineapple" and "french vanilla".

It is because of your product that I can, on those rare of occasions, feel like the rich and famous of our world. In fact, you have inspired me to such a degree, that i have developed the "Jelly Belly Aristocrat Reflector".

"Whats that!?", I hear you yell. Well, I'll tell you.

It's a mirror specially designed with a top-hat emblazoned on the top third - so when a person is tucking into his "french vanilla", he can truly feel like a gentleman (or lady) of leisure.

However, I have a problem. I have spent my entire budget on the prototype mirror and can no longer afford your fine product to test it with.

Would it be possible to get a sample pack to try it with? Perhaps you could include my photographs in your newsletter?

Yours in anticipation,

Jez.



Dear Jerry James (Jez)

It's not often we get such rare and brilliantly grovelling requests - even for freebies - but we've decided that as a Jelly Belly Aristocrat you have got to be in the big league of knowing the right thing to say at the right time. We will work out some way to make you a Jelly Belly Ambassador but in the meantime, we do need your address!

Sweet good wishes

Jelly Belly



Dear J Belly,

How are you? Thank you for your delightful response, you truely are all things sweet and good. I am intrigued by your invitation to become a Jelly Belly ambassador. What would this job entail? What would the pay be like?

I'm hoping that i will be payed in Jelly Beans, perhaps you could create a ceremonial "Gold Bullion" flavour for my inauguration as the official ambassador. Will there be a ceremony?

My address is:

11 Sandford Way,
Littleton Village,
Berrysford,
England.

Thanks for your time,

Official Ambassador of the Bean (A.O.T.B)
Jez.



Dear Jez

Not sure we can rise to a ceremony or even a Gold Bullion flavour but the role of Jelly Belly Ambassador is important nonetheless. We require you to pledge loyalty (which you have already done beautifully) to the good name of Jelly Belly and know in your heart that it is the very BEST jelly bean in the whole world (box ticked).

From here it is just a simple matter of your letting us have any Jelly Belly recipes that your brilliant and creative mind can dream up from time to time and put in a good word about us to your long list of imporant and aristocratic friends. At some point we will have to come clean about your reflector hat even though you probably want to keep it a trade secret. You must bear in mind however, that there may come a time when the world will quite simply have to know about it. We certainly want to know!

Yours in superior sweetness
Jelly Belly



Dear J Belly,

Thank you for your kind gift of 595g of your delectable beans. I assume they were my inauguration gift as the New Ambassador. I can truely say they were delightfully delicious and Splendidly Superb. I particularly enjoyed combining island punch, root beer, and strawberry daiquiri.

But after that concoction I can tell you, I was quite the drunk ambassador. In fact, I was so drunk I fear I may have made quite the fool of myself with the Countess of Essex (she's my fancy thing). None the less, this slight bed time mishap brought my attention to something quite dire. Upon waking in the morning (with the countess, of course), I went to make breakfast, and, as always, I started to combine flavours of bean. And do you know what I found? Dinner is fine; have some Jalepeno, Elevensys is fine, have a Cappuccino, Tea? Have some peanut butter.

But breakfast? now thats a connundrum. In the end I had to settle for some toast, which I promptly burnt (resulting in another midnight clinch between me and the countess being unlikely - she is not a fan of burnt toast).

So, I was thinking, perhaps a buttered toast flavour maybe in order, or perhaps for us british, a delightful battenberg bean?

What do you think?

Yours beanilly,

The Ambassador of the Bean,
Jez

NO REPLY